Acceptable
John 15:9-17    Acts 10
Sixth Sunday of Easter    May 17, 2009

    What is it that makes someone “acceptable”?  What are the qualities and features necessary for a person to be taken in and welcomed?  Are there assumptions we are not even aware of, which underly our judgments?  How do we decide these things?  A few weeks ago I attended a Diversity Training workshop.  While there, I learned about differences and the things that set us apart, and I also had the opportunity to really delve into the things that draw us together as human beings.  Most of what I learned can be summed up in learning to communicate openly and honestly with people.  If you aren’t sure about something that relates to another person, aren’t sure how they might perceive a situation, the best things to do is simply ask them to fill you in.  We tend to be nervous around people who are different from ourselves.  If we see ourselves as compassionate, kind and open, then we often worry about making sure this comes across.  This is one of the challenges for me when I am teaching students who do not rise to the challenge in the classroom.  The language used in academic settings is often, “the teacher gave me a C.”  But a truer reflection of what is happening is that the student earned a C.  It is in this atmosphere that I feel uncomfortable when a student who is a very nice person earns a low grade.  I want to be seen as kind, so I want to give them a higher grade than they earned, but that wouldn’t really prove anything.  It certainly wouldn’t help the student improve his or her attention in the classroom, and it also would not reflect positively on me in the long run.
    I tell this story because I think that we often take the wrong approach to forming relationships with people who are different from ourselves.  The difference might be between teacher and student or between persons of African and European heritage, but it all boils down to our wanting to ensure that we are liked.  It seems like we will do anything possible to avoid actually speaking with someone about the tough subjects that sit between us.  In this morning’s reading, Peter had to be prepared via a dream for an encounter he would have later that day.  If Peter’s mind had not been opened to the possibility that God accepted everyone no matter what they ate, and that all food was okay for Peter to enjoy, then he might have done everything he could to avoid the invitation that came his way.  He might have missed out on the opportunity to speak to all of those supposedly unclean people in Cornelius’ house.  And God would have had to find someone else to carry the Good News to them.
    How open are we to allowing things to be as they might be?  How willing are we to work with whatever we are given, making the most of each opportunity that comes our way?  Do we shy away when things don’t present themselves as we think they “should”?  Do we find ourselves waiting until circumstances are just right?  As we spoke about the bestseller, “The Shack” in Women’s Circle on Wednesday night, it occurred to me that I do not need to worry so much about getting everything figured out before I move forward.  Usually I like to know exactly where the next step is before I go anywhere.  It doesn’t matter if we are talking about physical movement such as where to go for the perfect vacation, emotional movement as in letting go of a troubling thought, or life movement such as what the best career move might be.  I don’t like going anywhere until I know exactly where I will end up way down the road.  I like to know what is at the end of the logical course of events that flow from that one movement.  It can be pretty tiring to look at things this way.  It can also be crippling, keeping me from doing absolutely anything without first checking out all the angles.  At Wednesday night’s meeting, the particular movement I had in mind was movement related to faith.  How do we convince ourselves to let go of the safety net to which we cling, so that we are freed up to check out what is around the corner?
 We need to ask ourselves, how scary would it be, really, to let go of the need to know something beyond a shadow of a doubt?  How frightening would it be to take a step or two forward and see where we end up?  It could be someplace really great!
    I imagine Peter was pretty nervous about showing up at Cornelius’
house.  Had he realized what a crowd had gathered to hear him speak, he may not have even rousted up the courage to go there.  But he went, and took a deep breath and then simply spoke the truth as he knew it.
He spoke from his heart, and the message he carried went somewhere.
The people listening were ready to hear what Peter said.  There hearts were open too.  Peter found that he was in the right place at the right time, even though it was a place he never imagined himself to belong - ever.  How often does this happen in our lives?  How often do we follow a hunch or a dream or a feeling, and find ourselves in a strange place, maybe an uncomfortable place, that ends up being just where we need to be?  I think God specializes in bringing us to these kind of places.  God specializes in getting us to let go of our expectations and preconceptions so that we enter into new situations with an open mind and with a willingness to do whatever is needed in that particular situation.
    Several years ago, the second time I was called to work as chaplain at Green Mountain College, I thought there was no way in the world that I would like it nor be successful at it.  I had filled in a year or so prior to that and it had been incredibly difficult work, with little support from any quarter.  I said I would do it this second time, just because they really needed someone.  I figured I would finish out the term and get back to my normal life.  Well, I am not sure what was different this time - maybe just me?  But when I returned to the college everything was different.  Everything felt different.  The work was still difficult, but I could see where it was going.  There were glimmers of possibility lurking there, where before I had not been able to see them.  I think God really worked on me in the time between my first stint at GMC and when I returned.  Something in me was open to the experience as it had not been before, and that made all the difference.
    Sometimes we receive help in moving forward.  Peter’s dream was a powerful sign to him.  He didn’t fully understand it until he received the request to go to Cornelius’ house, but then the images and their message started clicking into place.  It makes me wonder what sort of things are hidden in our lives.  What messages are being given to us?
Some people say that God is no longer sending messages to people, but I am not one of them.  I believe that God is still communicating with us every day, and that it is up to us to listen, to pay attention, to make the connections.  A huge part of what God is trying to communicate is that we all need to be more tolerant, more open to one another and to letting go of the fear we have of anyone who is different or anything that is out of the ordinary.  Many indigenous people recognize and honor the directions as a part of their prayers each day, and while different cultures count different number of directions, most agree that “within” is an important place to acknowledge.  “Within” is where God lives inside of us, guiding our every thought and action if we will allow it.  If we were to take this in as a part of our reality, then we might have a little more resilience when we go into strange or intimidating situations.  If we know that God works from the deepest part of ourselves, then we know that we are never alone, never left wandering.  At the risk of sounding flippant, it is like having our own personal GPS system built right into who we are.  We can never be lost, no matter how far we go from home or from our comfort zones.  “For lo, I am with you, even to the ends of the earth.”

I want to leave you with an old prayer from the Sarum Primer published in 1583 God be in my head, and in my understanding; God be in mine eyes, and in my looking; God be in my mouth, and in my speaking; God be in my heart, and in my thinking; God be at mine end, and at my departing.