Catching a Glimpse of God
Matthew 22:15-22 Exodus 33:12-23
October 19, 2008
We all long to see God...or at least we think we do. We want some kind of clarity that goes beyond the surface. We want to see the truth for ourselves. We want to know that this path of faith we have been walking is worth something. We want proof that we are not crazy to imagine that there is more to life than, well, life. Moses was in the same boat. He wanted to see God. In particular, he wanted to see God's glory - the fullness of all that makes God, God. He complained that he had done so much for God and for the people, that seeing God would be a fitting reward. But the theory at about that time in history and theology was that if you actually got a chance to see God, then you would die. God re-iterates this thought in the passage we read this morning. "You cannot see my face; for no one shall see me and live." But then God seems to relent a bit and clarify that if people see God's face they die, but seeing other aspects of God are not as lethal.
Seeing God's face takes courage because there is nothing subtle about it. Think of it in terms of the difference between being in the same room as a famous person and actually shaking their hand and carrying on a conversation with them. Most of us stammer and stutter, searching our minds for something sensible to say when we are confronted with a person we look up to. It can be terrifying. But simply being in the same room with them, is easier. We can look across the room, and imagine what it might be like to speak with them, but we really don't have to actually attempt it. We can just be happy to be in proximity to them without testing our ability to hold our own in a real live conversation.
Living life in such a way that allows us to face God is not easy. Likewise, living life in such a way that we can face death is not easy. And I think this is what this passage is at least hinting at. In many religious traditions, the creator is also the destroyer. Lord Shiva of the Hindu tradition has the capacity of creating the world, and then of turning right around and destroying what has just been completed. There is no judgement involved. Creation needs to happen, certainly, we all understand this but destruction is just as much a part of the cycle. Everything needs a good rich compost in order to grow. Maybe if we were more familiar with two-sided traditions such as the Hindu, we would have a better handle on our own walk of faith. Maybe then this particular reading would make more sense to us.
We are accustomed to a tame God, a God we can turn to when we are hurting, and expect a soft response. We are used to a God that we can ask for favors, for healing, for comfort, for protection. But we are not used to the rawness of a higher power which is not always benevolent. We are not used to a God who threatens to wipe people off the face of the earth if they don't straighten up and fly right. As we read the Old Testament, it makes us uncomfortable at times because the images we see there are not those of a God that makes sense to us. And yet it is an image that resides deep down within many of us. It is an image that haunts us from early childhood Sunday School lessons and picture-book Bibles as well as from myths and legendary tales about powerful beings of all kinds. So when I say that not many of us really want to see God's face, it comes from this image, this understanding. When we deal with God, we are usually dealing with something or Someone beyond our ability to understand and, it goes without saying, well beyond our control.
In some ways, this is a part of what Jesus was attempting to teach the Pharisees in the Gospel reading this morning as well. "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's" has something to do with knowing from whence the power comes, knowing to whom or to what we owe our loyalties and allegiances. Jesus was responding to a question meant to trip him up, but he delves much deeper than anyone expected of him. He takes the conversation right to the root of the problem. God has nothing in common with the worldly powers that be. Money, which for this world represents the ultimate in power, is nothing to God. Our allegiance to God goes deeper than reaching into our wallets. Our allegiance to God taps into our heart and soul, asking us what we really value, rather than being content with whatever we pay lip service to.
If you ask to see God's glory, you had best know what it is you are asking for! This is no idle request and not something to be asked lightly. If you ask to see God, you had best be ready for storms and whirlwinds, for thunder and lightening. It will not be safe. You will not be safe. You may be changed forever, and then what will you do? After spending time with God Moses had to go around with a veil over his face so he didn't scare people. His face was so bright after he saw God, it was scary to see! One of my favorite authors is Annie Dillard, most especially for her line that runs something to the effect of; if people really knew what they were getting into when they walked into church, they would be better prepared. They would wear life vests and crash helmets, ostensibly to attempt to protect themselves from the fallout of being in contact with the dangerous divine. This makes sense to me. The irony is that most folks these days think of church as one of the safest places you can go. The "sanctuary" of a church is a quiet place to run to when the world gets too frustrating or busy or scary. This is very true, and yet, if we really do come into contact with the divine, if we really do find ourselves face to face with God, then we will never be the same, ever again.
When God agrees to let Moses see even God's back, it is a huge concession to the possibility that Moses might be ready for his life to change even more dramatically than it had already. Even with someone as closely connected as Moses, it was a calculated risk. So, what might that risk look like for us? When we ask to see God's face, or even ask for God's presence to come to us, comfort us, give us courage; then what is it we are really hoping for? If we are hoping for the courage and comfort we need to maintain the status quo, then we are asking the wrong party. God is the one who shakes things up, remember? If we ask God to step in, then we are inviting all of God in, not just the parts we find socially acceptable and personally palatable. If we invite God to show us something, chances are the things we are shown will be far more shattering to our equilibrium than we bargained for. And yet... and yet... would we want any less?
There comes a time in most of our lives, when we are tired of settling for less, tired of accepting whatever comes our way. There comes a time when we realize we want to go deeper, we want to get to the root of what matters to us. We are no longer willing to sit and watch the world go by. At some point everything we fear pales in comparison with the emptiness of limping along on the surface of our own lives. Eventually we need to see God, even though seeing God may be the end of us.
God of glory and flame, God of mountaintop storms and earthquakes, we place ourselves in your hands. Guide us in this life of ours. Show us as much of your glory as we can handle. Show us as much as we need to see in order to carry on with faith, determination and courage. May we be your faithful children always. Amen.