Interdependence

Mark 6:1-13    Deuteronomy 10:12-21

Fourth of July Weekend

This weekend some friends of mine are hosting an “Interdependence Day” event.   The invitation spoke of how our country was built in the whole concept of independence, and that this is a wonderful thing, but maybe we have taken the idea too far?  As a nation brought up to believe that independence is the highest value we can strive for, we can be very quick to judge those who are not independent in the ways we think they should be.  We expect people to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, rather than lean on anyone else for a helping hand.  (The image of someone attempting to actually do this - pull themselves up by their own bootstraps - is kind of comical when you let yourself imagine it.)  I think of a small child determined to “do it myself!” and the helplessness of parents standing by, knowing they could make things easier for the child if he would only let them.   Tinmouth Church just acquired a set of handbells.  Through the generosity of many people, the dream of owning a set of bells that would provide special music came true.  A funny thing about handbells, though, is that it takes a group of people to play them.  Even the most talented person cannot play a whole set on their own - although now that I say that, I am sure some have tried, and maybe even done a decent job.  But  even if one person could do it, I imagine the audience and performer would both be exhausted by the end of the show.  The primary way of playing handbells is with a group, each person taking responsibility for their own part, their own bell or bells.  As you watch a concert, there is a flow and rhythm, a real sense of peace as each person plays their part. Playing the bells is a perfect example of an interdependent activity.  The beauty of the tune comes alive through the efforts of many hands and hearts.  

Our reading from Deuteronomy speaks to this in terms of letting God into our hearts so that we might live in community in a way that is closer to God, closer to what God dreams of for us. “So now Israel, what do you think God expects from you? Just this: Live in his presence in holy reverence, follow the road he sets out for you, love him, serve God, your God, with everything you have in you, obey the commandments and regulations of God that I'm commanding you today—live a good life....Cut away the hard calluses from your hearts and stop being so willfully hardheaded.”  

When we hold independence as our highest aspiration, then we miss out on what it really means to be in relationship.  I know this firsthand, and maybe you do too.  It is so much easier to depend solely on yourself when trying to accomplish something, especially when you know how you want it to be done.  Doing it yourself ensures that it is done as you wish it to be done, but at what cost?  If you think back to the thought of one person attempting to play the bells all by themselves, then what musicality or beauty does your life lose in the process?  What does the community of which you are a part, lose?  The author of Deuteronomy cuts right to the heart of the matter in telling us to cut the hard calluses from our hearts and to stop being so hardheaded.  Isn’t it clear that this is exactly what happens when we attempt to carry something out all on our own?  We shut out the people who want to help us, the folks who would like to be there for us in a supportive way.  We also fool ourselves into believing that we could actually do whatever needs to be done all on our own, without anyone else ever having to step in and help us.  I was listening to NPR this week and heard an interview with Dr. Bill Thomas who has become known for promoting a concept in elder housing called “Green Homes.”  These are group homes in which a small number of elders (they are not called “patients”) live in community, with younger workers called shabhaz, who are hired to look after them.  These green homes are just as they sound - filled with green plants, located in neighborhoods, designed with comfortable and cozy living spaces.  In the course of the interview he said that we in the United States have the false conception that we are independent when we are in our full adulthood.  He said we all accept that we are dependent on other people as infants and young children, and then again as we grow old, but the fact is that we are also dependent in the middle of our lives.  There is no time in a person’s life when they are not dependent on others.  We are just fooling ourselves to imagine that anything else is true.

What does it mean, that we are dependent on others throughout our lives?  In what ways is this true for us?  The practical ways come to mind immediately.  We depend on others to obey traffic signs by stopping when the light is red and by ensuring our safety and theirs by following the posted speed limits.  We depend on others to carry out their responsibilities in the community as police officers, town clerks, librarians and social workers.  We depend on our co-workers to carry their share of the load in projects and responsibilities in the workplace.  These are some obvious ways in which we count on one another, but the more poignant ways in which we are dependent on one another have to do with the heart.  Families are a primary place in which we depend on one another.  We count on other family members to support us emotionally and to help us through difficult spells.  We hope that they will be patient with us, even if we take a long time to work through some issue that is tripping us up.  We expect parents to be fair and to watch out for their children, to guide them well, even after they are old enough to make most decisions on their own.  Churches, when they are at their best, are a place in which we can depend on one another.  In our churches we bring up concerns and know that the other folks present hear them with compassion.  We count on our church family to stand by us when things are tough, and many of us who are gathered here this morning can attest to the power of having this kind of support.  Life is different and better when we can count on others for some support or help, when we allow ourselves to depend on others.

But we all need to give back as well.  None of us like being in the position where we receive all the time, without having an opportunity to give back every now and then.  Deuteronomy takes this full circle in speaking about us welcoming strangers and even foreigners because we have seen God do the same.  In fact, we have probably seen God do the same for us.  (God)“makes sure orphans and widows are treated fairly, takes loving care of foreigners by seeing that they get food and clothing. You must treat foreigners with the same loving care— remember, you were once foreigners in Egypt.”  The truth of the matter is that each of us can relate to being in need of the kindness of strangers and friends.  Each of us has been in a position where we depended on someone else to take care of us.  Even if we have to travel back to what it was like when we were children, we all know of times in our lives when, despite our best intentions or most ardent wishes, we simply had to depend on someone else to do something for us.  Back a few years ago when I had pneumonia and the girls were away for the week, I had to ask for help and it was difficult for me to do.  But what really heartened me was how willing people were to help and how happy it seemed to make them.  I can’t say that this has made me eager to depend on others again, because independence is so ingrained in my psyche, but it did at least teach me the lesson of learning to allow others to help, of learning to recognize and feel okay about my dependence on others.

I think the reality of living a good christian life is like this.  It cannot be done without our depending on others, nor without them depending on us.  In terms of being God’s people, we could not accomplish most of what we set out to do alone, and we can accomplish a whole lot more if we work together.  In order to be the kind of person Christ wants us to be, we simply have to face the facts that we are part of an interdependent system.  That’s the way life is set up.  That’s the nature of being human.  So, I encourage us to celebrate interdependence as well as independence during this holiday weekend.  Let’s include all aspects of who we are in this great nation of ours.

Loving God, thank you for creating us in your image.  Thank you for creating us to naturally need one another.  We are grateful to live in this free nation, and we pray that we might work to make this country an even stronger participant in building peace and justice throughout the world.  May all people be free.  May all live in safety.  May all depend on you and one another to just the right degree.  Amen.