Related By Love

John 15:1-8    1 John 4:7-21

May 10, 2009   Mother’s Day

One of the words I have been mulling over in my mind lately is “integrated.”  I use it in terms of having something woven into every part of oneself.  It seems to me that we need more integrity these days, especially in the sense of being the same all the way through.  This morning I am thinking about the word “integrated” in relation to love.  In what ways is love fully integrated into our life?  How does love permeate the various aspects of our being?  How does love inform the ways we respond to whatever comes our way?

Mother’s Day is a perfect time to think about love.  For most of us, our mothers are the ones we most clearly associate with love, and for most babies a mother’s love is the very first emotion of which they are aware.  At it’s best, and as it was intended, I believe, a mother’s love is unconditional.  Absolutely nothing can get in the way of a mother’s love for her child.  Even if that child doesn’t seem to be worthy of love, even if he or she has done something terrible, a mother’s love prevails.  Moms also help to bring out the best in their children, encouraging them to try out their wings, to take risks with their creativity, and to dream big.  Good moms expect their children to turn out well, and expect wonderful things of them.  Their expectations are the very foundations upon which amazing lives are built.

I remember reading a wonderful story that involved a conversation between two mothers on the playground, watching their young sons play in the sand.  Each mother stated her hopes and dreams for her son and talked about signs she saw in him of kindness and compassion.  It seemed like a pretty typical playground conversation until the very end, when the moms called to their children; “Come on Jesus, it’s time to go home!”  “You too, Judas, we need to get going so I can make dinner.” 

This morning’s readings are about the connectivity of love, about how love is what we all have in common, no matter what else we may have that is different from one another.  The letter of John speaks of how we are all related by love.  I thought about how we sometimes say we are related to someone by marriage, meaning that there is no blood relationship between us, yet we consider ourselves to be kin.  It is the same way with love, really, and especially with the love that comes from God through Christ Jesus.  We are related to God via love, pure and simple.  If it were not for God’s love for us, we wouldn’t have any sense of the relationships we share with one another, with the world at large, and finally with God.  We would just make the assumption that we were in this world alone, except for the folks who shared our gene pool.  Being related by love, though, is quite amazing.  It really turns things around for us.  And for those who have a less than wonderful home life, the love we share in Christ can be life-saving.

Sometimes our blood relationships are not healthy.  Sometimes we do not get the love and support we need from those who are closest to us.  If this is true for you, then mother’s day can be a difficult holiday.  I remember years ago reading Gloria Steinam’s autobiography in which she wrote a bit about not having a good relationship with her mother.  She said something that I have never forgotten.  She said that she had decided to give herself the gift of good mothering.  Wow!  What an amazing idea.  If you had a lousy childhood, with parents who either didn’t understand you or worse, hurt you in some way, then you can give yourself a new childhood.  You can give yourself the mothering you missed out on.  And you can give yourself the support you need in order to become the person you are capable of becoming.  What a concept - to choose to believe in yourself, if no one else has done it for you.  I would build on Gloria’s basic premise and say that we are capable of giving the gift of good mothering to ourselves because we have experienced love in other ways.  Sometimes this experience of being loved comes through another person, but it has its roots in the love that permeates the universe, the love that flows from God.  We exist in love.  I would venture to say that we live and move and have our being in love.

First John says that if we know what love is then we know God, and if we know God then we also know love.  The ancient Greeks had at least three words to describe love.  Philia was the love between brothers and sisters.  This is why Philadelphia is known as the city of brotherly love.  Eros was the kind of love that involved the physical self, often providing the impetus behind a new relationship.  And Agape was known as the kind of love that did not require anything in return.  It was free and unconditional love.  When we think of love, we don’t always think of it in such wide-ranging terms.  We don’t always imagine the breadth of love to be as broad as these three ways of describing it outline.  Thinking about the Greek understanding of love made me ponder also our understanding of love.  What does love mean to us?  Do we ever try to describe the kind of love we may be feeling at any given time in any given relationship?  What does it mean, that we know God because we know love?  What kind of sense does this make?  What kind of sense does this make to you?  Take a minute and let yourself feel the love that surrounds you right here and right now.  You may want to close your eyes to do this.  Feel free to do what you need to do in order to be comfortable.

Breathe deep... let the breaths go all the way through your body as you breathe in and out... and now, instead of air, imagine that you are breathing in love... feel the love moving in through your nose and mouth... feel it go into your lungs... feel the love move into other parts of your body... down into your belly... slipping down your arms to your fingertips... moving down your legs all the way to your toes... feel love swirling around in your mind... and now, imagine love moving into your spirit... let it go deeper, down into the parts of you that are not even physical... imagine love seeping into your heart... this may take some time, as so many of us are very well protected here... let love soak into your whole self, your entire being... scan your body and being and make sure that every part of you is saturated with love...  

And now, as you are immersed in love, start to let yourself recognize that love and God are interchangeable... God is love... and love is God... and you are immersed in God... Notice how this feels... let this feeling soak in and become all that is real about this moment... connected as you are with God in this moment, you are love itself... How would you like to share this love?  Who would you like to send love out to?  Picture those in your mind, to whom you would like to send love... Imagine them surrounded by love... your love... God’s love... Take time to send the gift of love to anyone or any place that might need it... 

God of love, love of God, we come before you in gratitude.  We are grateful for the blessings of those who have shared with us the gift of love with no strings attached.  Your love is able to flow through them, and it is an amazing gift.  We thank you for those who loved us imperfectly, as best they could.  Help us to receive the gift of their love without judging the shortcomings of gift or giver.  Your love flows through them as well.  Help us seek out your love wherever it may be found.  Help us share your love wherever we go.  In the name of Jesus, the vine to our branches, we pray, amen.