Who Am I? Who Are You?
Psalm 19 Mark 8:27-38
September 13, 2009
In this morning’s reading, Jesus and the disciples have a nitty-gritty discussion about his identity and purpose. Peter is the one in the hot seat because, right after admitting that he knows exactly who Jesus is, saying, “You are the Messiah,” he also pulls Jesus aside and tells him he ought to tone down his message a bit. Basically what it looks like is that Jesus is scaring people off by being so intense. As soon as Peter admits he knows that Jesus is the Messiah, Jesus starts talking about his suffering and death at the hands of the religious authorities. It is clear that Peter is afraid the wrong people will hear what Jesus is saying, and make trouble for him. Jesus then starts talking about what it might take to really be one of his followers - denying the self and losing the life they thought they were going to lead. As I read this, it occurred to me that what Jesus is talking about is actually turning the question this whole discussion started with, right back at the disciples. “Who do you think I am?” becomes something along the lines of “If you truly want to be a person who follows me, then who does that make you? How does following me shape you and the way you present yourself to the world?”
As the scripture echoed in my mind and heart this week, so did these questions that I imagined Jesus asking of, not only the disciples of long ago, but of you and me as well. When things start getting difficult, which is what Jesus was essentially warning the disciples about, then who will still be following him? What will it take to follow him when things start to get intense with the religious authorities? For us, the question is not so much about religious authorities harassing us as much as it is about surviving as a person of faith in the world today. What does it take to hold onto your faith when the world is constructed primarily on science and economics and other things that have so little respect for matters of faith, soul and the Spirit? The answer is probably a little bit different for each of us, and maybe it isn’t even something you have thought about. Maybe for you, your faith is just something you take for granted, and have not really had to think about or sort out. Perhaps it is a “given” in your life, and Sunday worship and prayers at meals are just part and parcel of how you do things? If that is true of you, then you are in a shrinking minority these days. Today, most people have had to think long and hard about what they believe and why, about whether or not to come to church on a Sunday morning and whether to support a ministry or not. These are not “givens” of modern life. For better or worse, we come to faith the long way and the difficult way. We have travelled far and wide, searching for a life that holds some meaning for us and perhaps also for our children. We have trod gently on the path, looking carefully for stray rocks that might trip us up, pausing at crossroads wondering if the way we were about to choose was really the best one for us. And so if Jesus were to ask us who we are, I like to think we would have given the matter some thought. We might actually have an answer at the ready, if asked what our purpose was in life.
There is a story by Loren Eisley that most of us have probably heard by now, but it illustrates my point so I will take a chance and tell it again. One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said…” I made a difference for that one.”
The whole point of our lives and of our identity, is that we make a difference. Based on who we are, and on who God created us to be, we each come into the world with unique gifts. When Jesus confronted the disciples with the bold realities about himself and about what might be required of his followers, he was attempting to get them to lay claim to their identities. He was trying to spark some flame within them that would remind them of their purpose in life. He was hoping that the mist in their minds would clear, and they would shake free of their fears in order to begin living the lives they had been brought on earth to live.
When we recognize who Jesus is, as Peter did in the reading from Mark, then we are forced to at least contemplate who we are as well. I am not sure which comes first - knowing Jesus or knowing ourselves - but I do sense that they are intertwined with one another. You may start from one or the other, but you will end up with both. You may begin by doing some soul-searching that brings you into a deeper understanding of yourself and your soul’s work in the world, but eventually that soul-searching will bring you into a deeper relationship with the Holy. And for many of us, the Holy is so well expressed in the person of Jesus that we find ourselves looking to him in order to come to know one who lived in such close harmony with God and with the beautiful and unique gifts that he alone brought into this world. We want to know how Jesus did it, so that we too, might become closer to the Holy in our daily walk. On the other hand, you may find yourself intrigued by the person of Jesus, and find that studying his life and work, or simply approaching him through prayer and intention, you come full circle in knowing the depths of your own soul and your own life’s work. Jesus is the kind of person who pushes you to look deeper and deeper into the core of your being.
For Peter, Jesus’ admonishment was a wake-up call. “Get thee behind me satan!” is a pretty strong slap in the face for someone who only thought he was protecting his beloved teacher. It helped Peter to see that Jesus’ mission, and consequently his own, was not to be taken lightly. This was serious business that had ramifications far beyond the reach of some ridiculous, albeit powerful, elders, chief priests and scribes. I wonder if Peter had fully grasped, before that moment, the far-reaching import of what Jesus was about? Did it take that kind of harsh rebuff from Jesus for him to realize that they were battling for more than worldly recognition? That this went far beyond the reach of even the most powerful religious authorities alive? Did he ever understand that for Jesus, losing his life was of less consequence than losing his soul? I am not sure most of us really understand this aspect of Jesus’ life and work. We like to imagine that there could have been another way. But when all is said and done, we have to trust that Jesus knew who he was well enough to know what he had to do in order to maintain his soul’s integrity. He could not back down from what was true, even if it meant saving his own skin. The cost in terms of his soul was too high for him.
I think that for us, there are also moments in our lives when we fully grasp who we are. We know in those moments who we really are, and what is true for us - so true that it cannot be tampered with even by the best of intentions. We may receive a small glimmer or glimpse of the possibilities we have within us, only to have our vision cover over almost immediately like fast-moving clouds on a fickle-weather day. But we can hold onto the hope that we really did see what we saw. We really did understand our life’s purpose if only for a moment - long enough to know that it exists, even if we didn’t get a chance to jot down all of the details... or even any of the details. Somehow we know what is possible, we know who we are, and that is enough to propel us toward that vision. Knowing Jesus, is for me, one of those glimpses that enables me to know what is possible for my life, it gives me the courage to live into the truth of who I am called to be in this lifetime by the One who created me. Looking into Jesus’ eyes gives me a glimpse into my own soul that serves to sustain me. And most days, this glimpse is enough.
Creating God, your fingers created us from nothingness. You know each and every one of us. You know what we are capable of doing and more importantly, of being. Give us enough to go on so that we don’t get discouraged. Give us glimpses of your dreams for us and how we fit into this world. Help us to get to know Jesus better every day, learning and growing, and staying close to him in our minds and hearts and lives. May we know him. May we know ourselves. In your spirit we pray, Amen.